itteh bitteh knitteh kitteh

For my mother, for her birthday. Happy Birthday, Mom!

 Ravelry details here.

Bede’s quantum leap

Today Bede volunteered that D is sad. W is happy! on one of our favorite DVDs, They Might Be Giants: Here Come The ABCs. Totally just, you know, telling me stuff, in unscripted standard English. They don’t say that the letters are happy or sad on the DVD, but they obviously are, from their body language.

If you don’t have a minimally verbal autistic child you may not get the import of this. Jennifer, I’m looking at you! It’s been with such happiness mixed with hopeful anticipation that I’ve read your posts on Zane’s language. I’m so pleased to be writing a few of my own!

He’s also been very conversational about other stuff too, from comments on food to little back and forth letter and word improvs between us.

This has been building for a few months and now boom! He’s so awesome!

I just want to say

I fully support the new legislation here in Oklahoma requiring pregnant women seeking an abortion to undergo an ultrasound prior to the abortion.

Here’s the Daily Oklahoman’s article about it.

this important message

I finished Faith’s socks last night while Sean and I were watching Foyle’s War. Love that show. Will post sock picture later when I have a chance to upload from the camera.

I’m going to be posting less and spending less time on the interweb too, I’m a bit overwhelmed. If you don’t see me much that’s why :-)

ETA picture:

 

Ravelry details here.

Where have you been? (Out.) What did you do? (Nothin.)

http://playborhood.com/ wants your kids to get out of the house and play play play!

G-Lo kickin it old school…

…in 2 pinned Gerber gauze flats, rise adjusted in back, bikini-twisted.

She’s three months old today!

gloria laughed!

Yes she did, yes she did. And Sean heard it too!

Abby and Faith will be thrilled.

Gilbert in the springtime

There was a smudge on my lens but he’s still cute as heck.

And yes, those are Fruit of the Looms peeking out. My baby boy is officially Big now.

Autistic man tortured and shot in Alva, Oklahoma

http://newsok.com/article/3229109/

ALVA — As a mentally challenged man screamed and pleaded for his torture to end, his attackers held him down, shot him repeatedly with paintball and BB guns, and branded him with searing coat hangers.

“Mommy, mommy,” the victim screamed, to no avail.

His torturers videotaped the episode, with one so proud of his work he listed his own name as the video’s director, producer and star.

Now, two Alva men face felony charges in the undated video. A Woods County judge set bail at $75,000.

“It was a gruesome assault,” said Ben Orcutt, Alva’s assistant police chief.

The victim, Harry Dahling worked with Jesse T. Wallace and Marvin Michael Tarver at a local food processing plant.

Police confirmed the victim is autistic and said he had trouble answering questions about the assault.

“He may be 20 or 21 years old, but he acts like a juvenile,” Orcutt said.

This happened here, in my home state, about 2 hours drive from my house. When I read about it in yesterday’s paper I was almost physically sick. It felt like a punch in the stomach to read about Harry Dahling crying out for his mother as he was tortured.

My autistic son is on the sofa next to me, having fallen asleep in my lap while we watched a movie. He is happy and safe.

But the fear and loathing that has been in my throat since I read about Harry will keep me awake for much of the night. Like every parent, I am concerned with my childrens’ futures, but unlike most parents I don’t have a default cut off point to stop worrying. He will likely need some assistance for the rest of his life.

Will he ever cry out for me when I’m not there?

Bedeisms

Here are a few Bedeisms. Bedeish.

Pants are ‘japans.’ Always.

He likes me to make letters out of Play-Doh. He specifies “Want see ‘a’?” or, alternately, “Want see CAPSLOCK ‘A’?”

We have a box of candy canes that look like these. He saw them in the cabinet a few days ago and said “Want see Bob? Want see red-n-white Bob? Want see red-n-white Bob Js?”

And my favorite… arms up, sweet boy says, “I love you!” as he’s scooped up for a great big hug.

random acts of kindness

Today I got a package of diapers and yarn from kaymadmom and a gift of a year of Flickr Pro from abigailvr! Thanks guys!

A different kind of different

My real-life and internet friend Jennifer and her husband Zach spoke to ABC News in Wichita about their son, Zane. As readers of this blog with perfect recall will remember, Zane is autistic and about a year older than Bede.

Zach posted the interview on YouTube.

some photos

Gilbert is sad.

Trixie is happy!

Hooray! I’m Gloria, and my diaper is huge!

Bede with deep brown eyes and lashes to die for.

Your narrator:

puzzled

The puzzle ribbon.

As far as I know, it’s the logo of the Autism Society of America. I don’t know where it came from beyond that. I did a cursory Google to try to get some history behind it, but came up with little. It’s now overwhelmingly associated with autism and autism awareness.

I chose to use the non-puzzle ribbon graphic for my blog this month. On the face of it, I don’t really have a problem with the puzzle ribbon. I’m sure I puzzle Bede. I also like the idea of an iconic symbol for the cause of autism awareness. But still, I don’t use it.

I don’t use it because people are not puzzles. Or, if they are, they aren’t especially more puzzling because of their autism. The puzzle implies, to me, that autism has to be put together by someone before it is complete. That the autistic person is not an agent, a person, himself – until he is assembled. That could not be farther from the truth. Bede, and every other autistic person I know both online and in the flesh, is a whole, complete person needing nothing added or removed from him to make him finished. He does not need a cure because he is not sick.

So that’s why I don’t like the puzzle ribbon and the puzzle metaphor, and why you won’t see it here.

ASUS Eee

Thinking of getting one of these for Bede when his SSI payment comes in. It gets great reviews. He uses the computer to communicate more and more and it would be great to have something portable for him that’s his. We have a laptop but it’s quite fragile, and the ASUS is marketed as shock proof.

Hmm.

I also like the name. Bede warbles and hums as he runs about in the house, and that sounds like him: “Asus! EEE!”

M&Ms (or Smarties) Autism Day Meme!

Seen at a comment left at Wyatt’s Blog by the tao of fish:

And remember to have a packet of smarties some time today (it’s a new ritual for the 2nd of April…). You must sort them before you eat them, and you must eat them in a specific order of your choice. Those are the only rules.

I’m not in a country that sells Smarties*, but we do have M&Ms, which I hope are an acceptable substitute. Bede sorted mine for me, and in fact fed them to me, one by one, in this color order: red blue brown green yellow orange. That’s all the reds, then all the blues, and so forth.

*Smarties here are a horrid little candy that consists of long cellophane wrapped tubes of sugar pills, and we mostly only eat them around Halloween.

What’s Wrong With This Picture

To kick off Autism Awareness Month I would like to direct you to an essay written by Kerry Cohen called What’s Wrong With This Picture.

Whenever I outline this list — the list of where he is “behind” and where he is “on par” or “ahead” — I get uncomfortable. None of it captures who he really is, which can’t be contained in a paragraph or maybe even with words. He’s just Ezra. He’s just who he is.

Kerry and I ‘know’ each other from a special needs parenting board near and dear to both our hearts. It’s a great essay and I think you’ll enjoy it.